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How to be self compassionate

Self compassion has been identified as an essential component of positive mental health. Although the term might be descriptive – the question many ask is “How do you do it?”


For those of us who have become so adapted to an ongoing self narrative of constant criticism and “fault-finding” the idea of self compassion might seem like an alien – and even somewhat suspicious  - endeavor. Kristen Neff breaks it down into three components which can be invited in, fostered and practiced to build up the “muscle” of self compassion:



First there is the value, the sentiment and the practice of kindness – noticing kindness and trying to act in a kind way is the essential start. Second there is the sense of common humanity – that all of us – including ourselves – deserve and can benefit from kindness. Third there is mindfulness so that we can be aware of where kindness is, and where it is not.


Once we become aware of how beneficial self compassion is – for oneself and for others – the practice of self compassion not only is justified but actually quite compelling.

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