The conscious relationship

Many couples run their relationship on automatic. This can be fine but when troubles arise it can be very troublesome to know how to get the relationship back on track. Some might even start questioning what is this relationship about anyway. Some assume that if things are not going well then the relationship must be faulty and they should replace it. All these issues point to the problems of doing your relationship without awareness, without consideration and without reflection – basically being in a state of relationship unconsciousness.

It is more beneficial to live your relationship fully with full awareness. Not only will this reduce the likelihood of a sudden surprise or disappointment, it will allow you to be more fully present with your partner and grow together both supporting and enhancing each other’s growth.

Here is a brief set of questions which you can address in any way you like to ensure that you are engaging in a “conscious relationship”

What’s happening now On a scale of 1 to 10

1. How happy are you right now?

2. How is the relationship traveling?

3. How happy are you with the relationship?

The three main emotions I currently experience in this relationship are:

1

2

3

The three main triggers I have for getting emotional in this relationship are:

1

2

3

My biggest grievances in this relationship right now are:

1

2

3

My purpose or motivation in this relationship can be indicated by three words:

1.

2.

3.

My perceptions of the biggest forces affecting this relationship right now are:

1

2

3

Your key intentions or wishes for this relationship right now are:

1.

2.

3.

On a scale of 1 to 10 how well would you rate

1. Your listening in this relationship

2 Your emotional regulation in this relationship

3. Your ability to articulate your thoughts and feelings in this relationship.

4. Your clarity about what is happening in this relationship

5. The degree to which you can behave responsibly in this relationship

The main three current issues in this relationship are:

1

2

3

The three main changes I would like to see in this relationship are:

1

2

3

Three things that I have learnt about relationships (what works to increase my relationship satisfaction)

1.

2.

3.

Three choices I have made in this relationship that I regret

1.

2.

3.

Three things from my family that have influenced my behavior in this relationship are;

1.

2.

3.

The three major beliefs that I have changed as a result of this relationship are;

1

2

3

The major chapters of this relationship would have the following chapter titles . .

~ feel free here to elaborate naming sub headings, themes, plots and the cast of characters, as well as the moral and personal dilemmas that have arisen.